Love and Logic--"Parenting" Children, Politicians and Consequences

For those not familiar with the Love and Logic Parenting Program, it's a very simple concept. It's also a lifesaver--literally--and if applied correctly, forces a child's consequences BACK ONTO THEM.

This saves vocal cords, cuts back on screaming matches, leads to less stress and angst in the home--all good things. For the parent, anyway--and, ULTIMATELY for the child.

As a quick example--say your child is literally hell on wheels--doctors say she's adhd, she can't focus, grades are a train wreck, room has been condemned as a safety hazard and you are SO EXHAUSTED of the constant tug of war to GET HER TO STRAIGHTEN UP AND FLY RIGHT.

This little darling is too young to drive and needs you to drive her everywhere. You've also supplied her with her own tv, cell phone, all the little gadgets parents are prone to give their children these days, namely because we're "made" to feel guilty if the child DOESN'T have all these "things" and we must be really bad parents not to "give" them to her.

But, who pays for all of them? The parent. What if the child breaks, loses, destroys or otherwise loses the use of these "things"? Who replaces them? The parent.

So, what has the child learned at this point? The child has learned: I can do what I want, when I want and no one can stop me. Who cares if I break something or don't take care of it--Mom/Dad will buy me a new one. If I don't get my way, I throw a fit, blame it on "adhd", threaten to call the police or CPS--and get what I want.

In other words, your darling has learned how to become a monster manipulator. And YOU--as the parent--have enabled your darling to become this monster manipulator. Otherwise known, as my mother used to say, as the "tail wagging the dog".

So, how do you change all that? Love and Logic.

You, as the parent, have to relearn YOUR behavior in order to
CHANGE THEIR behavior. Is it gonna be easy? HELL NO. Are you
going to be a better, more responsible parent for doing so? MOST
DEFINITELY. Is your child going to become a productive member of society, fully cognizant of the results of their actions? ABSOLUTELY. And, finally, will you have a better relationship with your child? UNDOUBTEDLY.

Wow! How does this "miracle" work? Let's go back to our pre-driving child.

You're sitting home and she's in her room, contributing to the ecological disaster you've been nagging her about cleaning, tv blaring, on the phone. Suddenly, she comes out of her room and announces she wants to go to the mall with her friends and, oh yeah, YOU have to drive them. MOST parents at this point, sigh, get out of their chair, grab the car keys and go.

YOU however do something different--and the effect is such your child will think they've just run into a brick wall.

You VERY LOVINGLY tell her, "I'll be MORE THAN HAPPY to drive you and your friend to the mall when your room is clean." You state it once. When the inevitable argument ensues, you maddeningly keep your cool and reply, again lovingly, "I love you too much to argue with you. I'll be more than happy to talk to you when you're as calm as I am".

There will be tears, slamming doors, "I hate yous", "it's not fairs"...you get the picture. Keep your responses to one liners--"I'm sorry you feel that way--I sure love you".

If something of "theirs" breaks? The cell phone, tv, playstation--or something is stolen, like their bike?

Your response is a fully empathetic "How sad for you. Now
what are you going to do?" DO NOT FAKE THE EMPATHY-PRACTICE IN FRONT OF A MIRROR SO WHEN THIS ARISES YOU HAVE IT DOWN COLD. But what have you done here? Put the consequences BACK ONTO THEM...they have to figure it out. Mom/Dad isn't going to go right back out and buy them a new one.

These are, of course, just a few brief examples. There certainly isn't enough
space to go into the whole program here. I went through the Love and Logic
classes a while ago and am repeating them because I've forgotten a lot of what I
learned. However, I can attest to the effectiveness of the program. I've used it
on my pre-teen recently with EXCELLENT results. And I still have all my hair, no
bruises on my forehead from banging me head against a wall, and two out of three
condemned rooms have now been brought up to "Mom's Safety Code" standards.


So, Beth, get to the point--what does this have to do with politicians? I'm glad you asked.


We are all aware of this week's activities in Washington this week, with yet another symbolic vote to demoralize the troops, embolden the enemy and waste taxpayer time and money.


This congress, the 110th, is the absolute worst on record (and didn't Pelosi say all it would take would be a woman to clean things up? So which woman? Obviously not her).


They have launched 300 time consuming, worthless investigations whose sole purpose is to punish Bush for having the audacity to be CIC, had worthless resolutions voted on just to make it look as if they're doing something and passed one--ONE--law.


Pelosi made herself an ally to terror when she went on her little jaunt to Syria and screwed up what the Israeli's said. A jaunt she was told not to go on--she is SOH, not Secretary of State. She was told not to ally herself with terror supporting regimes. But she did so anyway and made a total ass of herself (how appropriate, being a dem). Her refusal to obey the request made of her led to her direct violation of the LOGAN ACT as well as qualifies her for impeachment under high crimes and misdemeanors. And what about all her talk about "the most ethical congress" and such--yet she wants to do earmarks in secret, refuses to prosecute Murtha for his conduct or remove Jefferson for his bribes.


With the Immigration Reform Bill, this congress made it clear they DID NOT WANT TO HEAR FROM THE PEOPLE...the very people who elected them to office....and were going to do what they damn well wanted, regardless.


This, until the grassroots ROARED.


There were 24 original White Flag Republicans. The list of infamy was posted at several places, with not only Washington addresses, but their state offices, so you could use the email forms they hide behind that demand a ZIP + 4. Five more joined that roll call with this week's past vote.


I was able to obtain a site that lists each and everyone of the Congress crowd with their staffers' individual email addresses. That source is here. Those of us in the Patriots for Conservative Values used those email addresses to send a very forceful letter, drawn up by a fellow member and published here, here and here.


Amazingly, a vast amount of those email addresses are no longer valid. Even more amazing, out of each WFR, most (I haven't finished compiling the numbers) of their Chiefs of Staff/Press Secretaries/Constituent Liaisons were part of the no longer working emails. Two of them had staffers send messages telling us not to "spam" them--and of those two, one--Ron Paul--Chief of Staff told us to contact our own representatives. Am I mistaken or is Ron Paul considering himself to be a candidate for the 2008 Presidency?


Um...NO, I'm not mistaken.


So, as a gesture of goodwill and good party relations, wouldn't it behoove him to listen to the constituency REGARDLESS of where they are from? Common sense says YES.


Never fear, when the numbers are complete, I WILL be publishing EACH WFR with an account of how many staffers he/she has (equivalent to emails), their individual email address information, the ratio of how many blocked emails to overall emails, if the chief of staff/press secretary/constituent liaison has blocked their email address AND the snarky letters we have received, in their entirety.


When Miss Beth gets po'd, she tends to do these things.


Now, once again, you're probably squirming and saying, WHAT'S THE POINT? GET TO THE POINT!


The point is this: just as there are logical consequences following a child's actions, there are logical consequences for politicians who refuse to listen to their constituency--who essentially stick their fingers in their ears and yell "la, la, la, la".


WE put these people into office--WE can remove them. WE pay their salaries. WE pay for the obscene amounts of staffers some have. WE pay for the travel, the wasted time, all of it. AND WE CAN END THEIR POWER DAYS. WE do NOT have to tolerate business as usual. WE can bring them up, essentially, hard into a brick wall. WE can say, effectively, "I LOVE YOU BUT I WILL NO LONGER TOLERATE YOUR BEHAVIOR".


WE can warn them--telling them ONCE--I will not support you or work towards your re-election as long as you continue to ignore the wishes of the constituency. Then, they will have had their warning...don't nag, don't harp--follow warning with action. Use the Love and Logic pattern--natural consequences following certain actions/inactions.


Tell them, with your vote--and spread the word to all who will listen.


These representatives are also of what is EXACTLY wrong with the country and the generations following the boomers. These are people who grew up with the liberal ideas of no discipline, let the kid call the shots or you'll hurt their self-esteem.


THESE REPRESENTATIVES ARE THE END RESULT OF THAT LITTLE SOCIAL EXPERIMENT. THERE IS NO ACCOUNTABILITY TO ANYONE BUT THEIR OWN EGOS...NO RESPONSIBILITY TO ANYONE BUT THEMSELVES.


To disagree with them brings the wrath of THEM upon you--considering most of these cretins are secular humanists and don't believe in ANY higher power. This is the end product of the "if it feels good, do it".


And it is precisely because of the way these people were parented and parent themselves that we need programs such as Love and Logic to start giving the gifts of accountability, responsibility and true self esteem back to future generations.


As a final thought--think about your own job and your own boss. If YOU did YOUR job the way THEY do THEIR job--how long do you think YOU'D HAVE A JOB? Plain and simple, in the private sector, YOU WOULDN'T. And NEITHER should THEY. If they DON'T do the job they were elected to do--REPRESENT THE PEOPLE--then they should be FIRED. Just as you would be.


USE LOVE AND LOGIC ON YOUR REPRESENTATIVES. THEY WON'T KNOW WHAT HIT THEM.

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