Fred Thompson Funnies-Part 5
The weekly offering from Frank J. at IMAO:
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Kids, don't be scared of the monster in your closet; it's only trying to hide from Fred Thompson.
Fred Thompson's backyard fireworks display for Independence Day is so awesome, it often causes several European countries to surrender.
If Fred Thompson pardons you, anyone who even thinks of your former crime will be instantly struck dead.
Objects in motion tend to stay in motion and objects at rest better get moving before Fred Thompson kicks their lazy ass.
How does the Flash run so fast? He just imagines that an angry Fred Thompson is behind him.
If Fred Thompson punches you in the nads, not only will you never be able to have kids, any kids you already had will die.
Common last words for terrorists: "I tawt I taw Fred Thompson! I did! I di... gerk...uerg..."
In 1994, Democrat Jim Cooper nearly came within twenty points of beating Fred Thompson in an election. Fred Thompson ripped out Cooper's still beating heart for that audacity. Hopefully the Democratic nominee for President in 2008 will be wiser.
Acceptable legal defense in every state: "Fred Thompson told me it was okay."
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